Reflections
I've spent a lot of my life prioritising doing things that make others happy and in doing so I have found myself to often be unhappy, tired and running out of time for me. 2024 was an extremely challenging year for several reasons:
- I was in a very high-pressured job that demanded long hours, global travel and far too much internal politics.
- I had to pause my doctoral studies due to work and family life demands and a lack of ability to focus on writing
- We had a full extension and a new kitchen completed, which caused absolute upheaval
- self-doubt, self-sabotage and juggling conflicting priorities and always feeling like I was missing out on something
Reflecting on the year gone by, I began to realise that I wasn't just tired, but burnout and needing to reset and reconsider my work-life balance going forward. I was used to working very long hours in constant meetings and fighting my corner, juggling running a busy house including school run, clubs, play dates, homework, shopping, etc, not to mention fitting in time to spend with family and friends. It was only when I really stopped that the tiredness hit me, and luckily, the Christmas and New Year break didn't consist of many plans.
My most recent work contract ended just before Christmas, and this allowed me to really switch off over the holidays, rest and relax, and spend time being a dad whilst also thinking about what 2025 might have in store for me. Spending time being me and just relaxing, cooking, eating, reflecting on the year gone past and thinking about what I want for the year ahead, it took me almost two weeks to really switch off, plan accordingly for 2025 and feel excited about the year ahead rather than apprehensive about uncertainty.
What and where was my next job going to be?
How could I ensure a better work/ life balance in my next role?
What family activities could I plan for 2025?
How could I eat more healthily, feel more healthily and lose some weight?
What could I change to prioritise the doctorate to get it complete by September/ October 2025?
Goals vs Resolutions
For me, I feel that resolutions can often be unrealistic and hard to achieve and are more aspirations rather than realistic possibilities. I much prefer setting goals and targets that I can plan towards and work towards, measuring progress towards that goal. I wonder if that's because I work in a commercial environment. It's easy to say, "I want to lose weight," but without a detailed plan, it is unlikely to happen to the extent it is wished.
While I have some time off to really think about goals and changes I want to make, I wanted to consider all areas of my life as having carefully thought about the year gone past, it was clear that all aspects of my life had been impacted by my lifestyle and ways of living. So have a look at the goals I have set for myself below, the areas of my life these will impact, and how I hope these goals will deliver positive change. Let me know what you think in the comments section.
Work life
With my work contract having come to an end, I must find a new job as soon as I can as life in the UK is ridiculously expensive and increasingly so. But also, having recently built a huge house extension and installed a new kitchen, some debts need to be paid off. Plus raising a child is also expensive, and I have a champagne taste on a lemonade budget sometimes.
I have been working in higher education for almost twenty years, and it's an area in which I would like to further my career and hopefully climb the ladder through promotions. It is also a sector almost on its knees as government funding reduces and budgets are increasingly squeezed, making new job openings fewer and farther between. I am discussing several possible options, which are giving me the confidence to embrace my time off rather than worry about finances just yet. Stay tuned for an update and reach out with any opportunities.
Studies
I am completing a professional doctorate - Doctor of Education (EdD) part-time, and it's something that I have had a love-hate relationship with, mainly down to trying to complete it whilst needing to work full time. I am researching how neoliberalism and the marketisation of higher education may be impacting academic identities and how they professionally perceive themselves.
When I have time for my research I absolutely love it and my ideal situation would be to have a detailed plan of what needs to be done to complete the thesis and submit it, in the hopes that this plan will give me the tools to plan what to do with the research going forward. I started the doctorate as it is something that can be extremely beneficial, if not required to gain a senior management role at a university, but I have always wanted to gain my doctorate.
My final submission date is 1st October 2025 so time is running out but I am confident that I can submit in time. I will continue to update from time to time on here so that I am kept accountable to meet my completion date.
Blogging
As I wrote about in the About section of the blog, I have attempted to keep a blog going several times but have not done so. I really enjoy writing and I would like to develop my writing skills and possibly advance a career where publishing is involved. This could come from the doctorate or blogging, or not at all. Anyway, I have started the blog again and I have a detailed plan that will hopefully help keep me on track to maintain this blog and enjoy doing so. My aim is to post at least once weekly, but possibly more if time permits so let's see how I do.
I am online daily and read a lot of web-based literature and I am keen to develop and hone my blogging and social media marketing skills and knowledge so that dad-hoc can be a success. I'd like to be able to connect with other bloggers and collaborate, build dad-hoc's voice, build its audience and see where it could lead.
Parenting
With 2024 being hectic, I have spent a lot of time working long hours and travelling overseas, meaning I have been away from home and parenting duties. I have had conflicting feelings about that - parental guilt. Having said that, I have also overcompensated in 2024 by organising so many activities, play dates and days away as a family to spend quality time together and feel better about the parenting things I have missed out on.
In 2025, I am hoping that my son can continue to enjoy going to school, seeing his friends and developing his educational knowledge. I am also keen to help him explore a range of creative activities when the weather in Scotland is crap and explore outdoor places when it's dry and even sunny. He has shown real interest in crafts and, more recently, a keenness to explore cooking. I am hoping that some of these activities can be shared here to help you gain some ideas to do with your own families.
With YouTube being banned in the house as it is pointless watching full constant dopamine hits, my son is now watching cartoons with plots, films and series and he can talk about the plot, and the characters and engage in what's going on. And I want to continue to watch meaningful TV and films with him.
Health
Lastly, but not in terms of importance, is health, and I want to really improve my health and well-being in 2025 so that my stress levels remain low, my blood pressure reduces, my fitness levels improve, and perhaps shed a few kilos wouldn't go a miss. Running from task to task and place to place all through 2024 definitely saw my stress levels increase and my patience wear thin, leading me to feel less happy than I could be. Having realised this and having some time off now, I can develop better routines to ensure that my planning is better and that I don't need to feel as stressed.
I love cooking, and I plan to cook more, expand my knowledge of different foods, ingredients and flavours and ensure that what I eat is healthier and less processed. In the last year, travelling extensively in South Asia for work, I have been able to try a range of delicious flavours, buy spices and learn recipes to make authentic South Asian food, and I cannot wait to continue to make more of these recipes at home. My son has even developed a palette for spicy curries and similar. I will share some of these recipes here on the blog and hopefully, you can try them out too.
When I have been extremely busy and working long hours, I have been neglecting my water intake and prioritising caffeine intake and I want this to change so that I am better hydrated and feeling healthier. I aim to get back into the habit of using My Fitness Pal to track food intake as well as calorie intake, monitor water intake and also track steps daily and build up my daily step counts.
Hopefully, you will subscribe and enjoy reading the blog and comment on the blog and socials whilst also sharing your own experiences and providing tips and advice that you think may help me. I am determined to give these goals my all and do my best to be able to look back on them at the end of 2025 and feel like I have achieved something.
Let me know in the comments if you have set any resolutions or goals yourself, and let's support one another to make these a reality. Thanks for reading.
